The above quote is attributed to my son, who said it to me today, when I discussed feeling uninspired for the first time regarding my Masters. Some statistics on prevalence of complex trauma, left me briefly wondering if my doing dissertation really makes a difference...With regards to the quote, do people really want to hear that you have to push through? That it takes lots of work? In general I don't think so... As a colleague stated we are basically biologically programmed to conserve energy (aka laziness). Look at lions on the Nature Channel, he said, when their bellies are full, they are lying under tree. So we are basically like this, ready to lie down, watch TV, sleep, or do any number of the things people do when they rest. But basically most humans do jobs that provides income that lets them 'lie under a tree with their bellies full.
So what makes some of us different? Why do some of us have a drive and actually put the energy behind overcoming obstacles. Why do some of us feel the need to do a Masters or trek Everest, run a marathon? I think a variety of biopsychosocial factors exist. First genetically I am programmed to be very very focused. My family used to joke that when I had a child and took them grocery shopping that I would bring the groceries home and leave the child. NOT TRUE! I bring the child and leave the groceries! My son has the same tendencies and so we tend to look at rest time, as time to accomplish reading, research etc.
Second people tend to accomplish what is in their mind, rather than what they would like to be accomplish. So for example if you think all week about being able to rest on the weekend, have a few drinks and watch TV, then that is what you tend to accomplish. But if you can visualize yourself happy, seeing yourself making a difference, then you will move towards that. At least that is how it has always been for me. When I was 16 I was dismissed by a therapist, who 'assessed' that I was dissociative and therefore I would never get better. I knew the therapist was wrong, I knew that he did not know how to help, and I knew that it was my job anyways to take responsibility for my wellbeing, I was just looking for some tools from him (which he clearly did not have). Everything that I have accomplished has happened because I KNOW that it can be done, not because I hope that it can be done.
That is why "knowing there is something greater inside you" will get you over any obstacle, or as Henry Ford said "whatever you think you can or you can't - you are right". Our cognitive schema's (belief patterns) drive us, and that is where visualization can be so powerful. It helps you see where you are attached to a belief, and then you get to choose what you want to do with that.
My favourite book East of Eden talks about how the correct translation of the 10 commandments is "Thou Mayest.." rather than "Thou Shalt.." in other words, it is your choice, no one is going to come and zap you with a lightening bolt for your choices. However, your choices have consequences...Ghandi said it well...“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”
So in the end sometimes you just have to push through a moment, a minute or even a few days, but at the same time, know that you can, because whatever you know (not what you believe) will be in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment